What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
Last Updated: 22.06.2025 04:18
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
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Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
TEXT:
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
Who are some good social skills therapists in Pompano Beach, Florida?
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
What is the best way to end a relationship with someone who has future plans with you?
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
What are the best sunscreens for oily acne prone skin?
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
Do you share your food easily? With whom, and why?
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
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Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
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Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
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¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
Make Nazis afraid again!
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
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And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...